cinema_babe: (Bandaged Heart)
And soon it will be my birthday, and then his birthday, and then Fall and Christmas and he will be dead a year and then a decade and then one day I'll be gone and our most intimate shared memories will go with me....

And today it's a day short of a decade. Sometimes it feels like it's been 20 years, other times it feels like it's only been 1.

I'm 1000 miles from home and I still have a pair of his woolen sock, when it gets very cold I wear them. When they fall apart, I really won't have anything left but memories, but it's no longer the unthinkable eventuality it would have been 10 years ago. It's like a divot the grass has grown over and hidden; the scar from that hurt will always be there but only I know it.

And so it should be.
cinema_babe: (Back to School)
Smetims I almst sund lik a reel akademic.
cinema_babe: (A Dr Who Xmas)
I'm working on a paper for a class on online communities for ex Jehovah's Witnesses. (For those of you who don't know I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness which just added a whole other layer of crazy to my childhood).

Anyway.....

I'm looking to conduct an interview with a former Jehovah's Witness who has not sought out online support. I'm doing a qualitative study on the rhetoric and genres that are present in their exit stories. Does anyone out there in LJ land know someone who might be willing to be interviewed?
cinema_babe: (A Dr Who Xmas)
The people upstairs have 2 kids and a big dog. I am cutting them some slack on the noise because they just moved in and I'm sure they are getting themselves settled.

However....

If this noise; thumping, whining, yelling and general hoopla; continues I will make no guarantees that complaints will not follow.
cinema_babe: (A Dr Who Xmas)
Before you even begin reading this, stop. Below are my feelings, belies and attitudes about "being on the autism spectrum". Some of it is not soft and fuzzy and will irk people. Big surprise.

If you get easily upset when I get blunt, you might do best to skip this post.

When last we left our intrepid heroine, she had just been told that she was on the autism spectrum (apparently, Asberger's Syndrome is no longer used, you're just "on the spectrum")

This did not make me happy. At all.

The Whole Story )

The scary thing is that if I didn't know myself so well, was more easily persuaded and followed authority without question, sorta like my mother, this story could have ended with me just giving up on my life because of what I couldn't do. This episode didn't do a thing to restore my confidence Asberger's diagnoses, if anything, it's made me even more leery of them.


*Note to self: never make a statement like that to a shrink. They will try to make you sign a contract promising not to hurt your self. I'm not a 21 year old filled with cutting angst, I'm a 40something year old cockroach, I have a tendency to survive shit I should not.
cinema_babe: (Angry Black Woman)
...I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Sometimes two words get paired together when only one word will do.

Exhibit 1: Brain Death
The phrase brain death is redundant, it's just death. Someone who is brain dead will never wake up, never recover, they must remain on life support, if they are taken off it their vital organs *will* stop working, the body *will* shut down. It is not a coma, it is not a vegetative state.

In both of those situations, the cerebral cortex is damaged but the brain stem is functioning. If a person is brain dead, the brain stem is profoundly damaged or otherwise no longer functioning. There will never be any reversal. If they are removed from life support the process of death will complete.

The media does a piss poor job of depicting brain death with any accuracy. Those people who wake up after 19 years? They are in a comas rt possibly a vegetative state, not brain dead. It messes with the expectations of grieving families and is harmful to efforts to increase organ donation.

Exhibit 2: Acquaintance or Date Rape
Let's be clear, there is rape. Period.

If someone take their penis or any object and inserts it anywhere on anyone, without their informed consent, regardless of either person's gender, they are a rapist. If someone forces someone else to perform oral sex on them, forces it on them or does it to them when they are not able to give informed consent, they are a rapist

It doesn't matter if the two of are strangers, friends, lovers, or spouses; it is rape. If he or she is a passed out, a prostitute, or the two had sex 2 hours ago, it is rape. Even if the person raped does not report it or the law declines to prosecute, it is still rape.

The only thing different about date or acquaintance rape is that the rapist is someone who should have been protecting their victim, someone he or she should have been able to trust. That means the date or acquaintance rapist isn't just a rapist, they are also a treacherous piece of shit.

And did I mention they are still a rapist.

Got it? Good.

Exhibit 3: Sexual Harassment
The boss who continues to walk up behind a woman on his staff and put his hands on her shoulders. The co-worker who thinks it's funny to tell Nazi jokes to someone Jewish even though they have been told it's not funny. The manager who puts constant, unreasonable pressure and mocks an older worker because, "it's about time s/he retired". (For the record, these are all situations I was made aware of when I worked in HR).

It's all harassment. It doesn't matter if you use sexual/sensual behavior, threats, fear, offensive humor or mockery. If someone is deliberately creating an environment that makes it physically or emotionally difficult for someone to do their job, it's all harassment. If called on it the only valid response is, "I'm sorry, I will not to do that again" and then to stop the offensive behavior. "I was just kidding"; "you're being too sensitive"; or "Joe/Jane doesn't mind when I say/do that" is just an extension of the harassing behavior.

So to recap, there is death, rape and harassment, no prefixes necessary. Any question?
cinema_babe: (Jersey Strong)
So this is going on at the old alma mater. I was making a post to FB but it go too long so I'm putting it here so I won't forget.

I see the issue with Dr Rice as indicative of some other issues. First, I've always wondered why the university doesn't solicit suggestions from the graduating students as to who they might like to see as a speaker (if they do, I certainly did see it done prior to either my undergrad or MA ceremony).

I think the administration was insane to *not* anticipate that there would be pitched protests against any member of the Bush administration cabinet to campus. This is an administration that still inspires very strong options on both sides of the political aisle. As Dr Rice said so eloquently, in her declination, commencement is a day to celebration, not controversy and bad feelings. It is not a day for a particularly controversial speakers (especially one who is commanding a $35K fee).

The real disgrace here is how tin the ear of whoever made the decision to ask Dr Rice to speak at commencement. It put her in an awkward situation. While I's sure she is quite used to being booed and protested, this is an entirely different case. It caused an unnecessary upset at a time when students should be reveling in their achievements.

Lover or hate her politics, I appreciate the sentiment that she expressed that she felt that she had become a distraction and did not wish to take away from the joy and excitement that is commencement. I shudder to think how many speakers would have just showed up anyway.

Everyday is a freaking party.
cinema_babe: (Bandaged Heart)
346 days.

Once upon a time I met a man. We had been reading each other’s blogs, and realizing that we lived close to each other, made a date. That was the beginning of a lusty, passionate fling. Neither of us wanted to commit to a future. Until one day I looked up to see him staring at me and I started crying because we both knew that things had gone from a fling into being in love with each other. No relationship is perfect but some are good and this was good.

I'll just jump to the end. On a Tuesday he threw a blood clot which caused a stroke. Wednesday night he had another, more devastating stroke and the damage was too great. He was declared brain dead by one doctor and in 24 hours after another doctor confirmed the diagnosis he would be removed from life support.

I stayed with him all night I holding his hand and talking to him about the vacation we had put a down payment on, the memories we had made. I finally left about 8am the next morning with only 346 days of memories.

What’s a girl to do?

346 wonderful, lusty, funny, exciting, comforting loving days. Today is 7 years since he died. 7 years.

I believe that things that happen aren't good or bad but that it’s what we do with it that matters. My love was an organ donor. In his death people were able to see again, 2 dying people got kidneys. In his death other people were given such great gifts.

Every March I ask all of my friends and readers to do something that is difficult for many people: make arrangements to donate your organs; discuss your wishes with your loved ones and encourage them to do the same.

**Parents, I ask you to do the most difficult thing of all: sit down with your co-parent and discuss organ donation if the unthinkable befalls your child.**

If you are racial or ethnic minority this is even more important as too many minorities die waiting for an organ. Go to “Donate a Life” for more information, including the position of most major religions on organ donation.


I don't think about him every day anymore, but I remember the day I met him and how I learned that I can love and be loved. Time did help to heal the wound of losing him but the scar will always be there; a small divot in the lawn that the grass has grown over and only I know it’s there.

I’m begging you to please have that conversation. Thanks.
cinema_babe: (Snowflake)
This time last year I had an MA in Communications for about 2 weeks. If you had asked me where I would be today, I would have said still living in New Jersey, still going to Rutgers, still spending time with the same people and going to the same places.

What a difference 365 days makes.

This sand and saltwater in her veins Jersey Girl is now living in the Midwest and will

Just going through my LJ I can see how many helloes and good byes have been said this year. How many stories had commas or semi colons dropped in the midst of them while people paused to regroup, catch their breaths or shifted course. How many questions didn't get answered and how many answers showed up unbidden.

I can't wait to see what 2014 will bring; Happy New Year, you all!
cinema_babe: (A Dr Who Xmas)
OK, this is how fucking random my thought process is.

[livejournal.com profile] bart_calendar Had a post about Romeo and Juliet is not a romantic play (and he's quite right).

I was looking up a note I made in my copy about Romeo's age and I thought about how Wuthering Heights is another story that people think of as romantic when it most emphatically is not.

That made me begin to hum the Kate Bush song Wuthering Heights

Which led to me set up a whole line up of 80s music in YouTube to listen to as I work

So I've just gone from Romeo and Juliet to The Pet Shop Boys in under 30 minutes. Makes sense to me.
cinema_babe: (Therapy)
I just realized that today would have been my 15th anniversary.

No one thinks while taking their vows, "well, this will go down in flames in less than a decade" and yet it happens. Often. To a lot of people. Despite their love, best intentions, gumption, beliefs, or any other factor.

I'm not sad or happy or really much of anything. My wedding day is just another data point in my life.

The day was beautiful; I can truly say one of the 5 happiest days in my life. Looking back, I don't know that my ex had as good a time as I did. I knew you couldn't slow down time so I just tried to remember as much as I could so I could fill in the details between the pictures in our album for our children.

But 15 years later, my good china (service for 16??!!) sits in a box in my pantry; I'll get around to selling it one day. There's no house in the suburbs, no children playing in the backyard, no corporate office, no annual cruises, no family holidays. I'll probably never have any of that again and I am strangely very ok, even relieved, about that. I guess I tend to prefer a blank page to a full script.

Anyway, time to stop procrastinating and get back to my paper.
cinema_babe: (Autumn Road)
There are still times, more often than not, when I feel like I'm leading with my left foot when everyone else is leading with their right. I just don't feel as smart as the rest of the herd.

I can't drop names and spout theory like some of the people in my cohort.

I'm a pretty shitty teacher and I don't have the passion for it that a lot of the others do.

I'm getting through stats by the skin of my teeth. For half the class this is a refresher, for me this is like learning Russian. Medieval Russian.

I'm only making Bs in my writing assignments.

But....

I'm trapped on a group project from hell with this harpy on a topic I don't give a rat's ass about. I told her pick whatever, I will research and write on it because that is what I do.

We met with our professor and this woman still didn't have a clear idea what to do and kept asking the prof what we should do for our project. The professor through out the idea of doing a social network map and analysis of a group of organizations and everyone's face went blank

Except for mine.

I immediately caught on to what she was suggesting. She and I began tossing out literature to look at, what method to use to get good data, software we could use to construct the map, etc. I could feel my brain kick into overdrive. I could feel my face light up.

The other people in the group were looking at me like I had 3 heads.

I forget sometimes that I am a plodding tortoise, not a speedy jackrabbit. I am slow but persistent and I know what I know. And when you put me in my zone I can move at the speed of light.

I'll never be a tiger lily, an iris or even a daffodil. I am a geode. And if I just keep being a geode, and stop comparing myself to the roses and peonies and anemones, I'll be good.

It'll all be good.

No you can't always tell one from another
And it's best not to judge a book by it's tattered cover
I have found when I tried or looked deeper inside
What appears unadorned might be wondrously formed
You can't always tell but sometimes you just know

'Round here we throw geodes in our gardens
They're as common as the rain or corn silk in July
Unpretentious browns and grays the stain of Indiana clay
They're what's left of shallow seas, glacial rock and mystery
And inside their shines a secret bright as promise
Carrie Newcomer


cinema_babe: (Bloody Tears)
So it turns out that they did bollocks up my financial aid package but they finally got my financial aid straightened up. Yup, I was right all along when I said I should have been offered a loan. Feh.

To explain, I have a fellowship, which is basically a type of scholarship. I am getting paid to study and produce. In addition I am a teaching assistant (TA) who teaches one class (F/t is 4 classes so they call me a quarter time TA). Someone deep in the bowels of somewhere only recorded my TAship *and* they put me down as an Indiana resident. They never recorded that I have a 12 month fellowship as well. Over the summer, I was told that I would have to have to gather all of my financial paperwork (receipts, tax returns, etc) and file an appeal.

Fuck me.

So I went to Financial Aid today to find out what I needed to to to appeal. the first guy who looked at my file kept squinting at the screen as if he didn't get what he was seeing. That was because he didn't. He said something didn't look right and what he was looking at didn't match what I was telling him I had.

So he left the office to go talk to someone else.

He came back with a slip of paper with a name and number. A room number. A room number in another building. Soooo on with my backpack and over to the other building until I found that person. Fortunately for me, she knew I was coming and, to her credit, she had my file on her desk and waiting for me. She explained to me exactly what my scholarship award package was. I asked her to call Financial Aid while I was in her office and explain to them what she had told me and she did.

I thanked her, shook her hand and trudged back to Financial Aid.

The guy I spoke with before was busy so I spoke with someone else. She made the same face the first guy did and then went to talk to the same person the first guy did but she came with a smile. She sat down punched some stuff into the computer and told me I should have been offered a loan (which is what i wanted all along). Allegedly, by the end of next week I will have some money to begin paying back my benefactors and paying off my mounting bills.

This will be very funny bu Christmas but right now I'm freaking EXHAUSTED. If this information had been recorded properly in the first place, I would not be living off of cabbage and cheap frozen dinners (not that I don't enjoy them but I'd like to have meat more than once a week).

I'm writing this all down so that a year or two from now I can look at this and laugh

I will laugh about this, right?

In other news, Big Brony Party on campus this weekend!! And the first of the semi weekly grad student scotch and beer pickling session mixer. You can guess where I'll be.
cinema_babe: (Breaking Bad)
At some point in the character's story arc, there is a flip from "Walter White, milquetoast HS chemistry teacher pretending to be Heisenberg, enigmatic drug lord" to "Heisenberg, enigmatic drug lord pretending to be Walter White, milquetoast HS chemistry teacher".

This might be that moment. It's as if Walter White let his mask slip a little in front of his wife and she saw the fires of hell and damnation underneath.



Skyler White: Walt, please, let's both of us stop trying to justify this whole thing and admit you're in danger!

Walter White: Who are you talking to right now? Who is it you think you see? Do you know how much I make a year? I mean, even if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. Do you know what would happen if I suddenly decided to stop going into work? A business big enough that it could be listed on the NASDAQ goes belly up. Disappears! It ceases to exist without me. No, you clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I AM the danger! A guy opens his door and gets shot and you think that of me? No. I am the one who knocks!

One of the three most intense moments in all of scripted TV history. This two minutes is why Bryan Cranston deserves every Emmy he's gotten and is an example of how razor sharp the writing is. The uneasy fear in his wife Skyler's eyes(Anna Gunn), tells you that she has met Heisenberg and she *knows* who she is talking to now.
cinema_babe: (Busy as a Bee)
For the record, I'm glad the new Doctor is an English (well, Scottish actually) white guy. I'm all for diversification, but IMO, The Doctor must always be a white guy from the UK and I don't see any need to change that. For one, he's never changed race or gender so I've always taken it as implied canon that those elements of his physicality do not change.

Beyond that is the overarching story of The Doctor. A major part of The Doctor's story, as I see it, is being an outsider while outwardly appearing to be the ultimate insider in western culture: a white, hetrosexual(ish) male*.

As much as I never liked the whole Rose and The Doctor storyline, one of the things is dealt with from a dramatic point of view is that The Doctor isn't just a really smart human with cooler toys than the rest of us. I think one of the reasons I liked Matt Smith's portrayal so much is his Doctor seemed to be all about foreignness. Whether it was trying endless (and odd) combinations of food or learning how to play soccer and just be a guy, here was enjoying experiencing what it means to be a "normal" human and slightly oblivious to the looks from people who didn't get that he didn't get it.

This is an important feature in no small part in that is adds to the character's complexity. He's not human, doesn't even completely grasp what it means to be human, yet he is the self appointed defender of the human race. All the while living with the assumption of other humans who don't know him that he *is* human.

I think that adding an "other" to his identity would have been an unnecessary encumberance that would muddy that key facet of The Doctor's character.
cinema_babe: (I'm Moving)
...Movin' right along,
Footloose and fancy-free
You're ready for the big time
Is it ready for me?


So I packed up my place and my life is now sitting in a metal box. I've been with family for a couple of days and tomorrow morning I hit the road and leave home.

It's funny when I think that this is not a 2 week road trip, this is a *relocation*. I'm won't be returning home in X number of days. I won't be back in this state until I visit at the holidays. And even then I'll have to travel an hour to see my old friends and visit my old stomping rounds.

No wonder I like Dr Who so much. I was a goth college dropout and wanna be rock star who morphed into the model of a no bullshit taking corporate middle manager. Then I morphed into a downsized suburban housewife who morphed into a non-traditional college student who morphed into a grad student who was just working for the man to cover tuition.

And now? I'm not even sure who the hell I am or will be I just know I have to move over 800 miles westward to do it. The beams will just shoot out of my fingers and toes and I'll be re-formed.

I guess as long as I am happy and successful (on my terms) it really doesn't matter very much what I have to do to do it. Does it?
cinema_babe: (Pen and Ink)
Have to stay with the niece and nephew for a couple of days while my sister and BIL get things finalized with/for my mother. Finally got online this morning and I feel like George Bailey. Thank you all.

I'll be in touch with everyone over the course of this weekend.
cinema_babe: (I'm Moving)
This is the most difficult post I have ever written bar none because it is something I'm not good at and it's a very tough topic

Y So Serious?
Bluntly, I need help and even more bluntly, I need a loan or loans totalling $3000 to get to Indiana. I will be making money once I get there so anything anyone can lend me will be paid back, it just might take me up 12-18 months to do it depending on the amount.

I need a bridge I can use to get me out there.

Why do you need it? Why so much? Why don't you have the money?
I had planned and and was saving for my move when I was hit with a double whammy. First the company I was supposed to work with cancelled the project for financial reasons. Next, there were serious issues with my Mother and I had to ensure that she would be safe and cared for before I left town.

I need the money to cover the following (If you would like exact amounts, let me know and I'll be happy to break that down for you) :

  • 1st month's rent (the apartment complex has been nice enough to let me extend my deadline to Aug 1)

  • The security deposit for the apartment

  • The security for my gas and electric (because I am from out of state),

  • The uhaul truck

  • The movers I need to move the boxes from my house to the truck and from my truck into my new apartment (because physically I can't do the physical moving)

Other sources for the money?
My sister has helped as much as she can. My credit is all tapped out and shot. I have sold everything I can possibly sell and taken any job I can. I had to completely close my bank account. I've checked with the financial aid office at Purdue as well as my department and I don't have any options save a $400/.30 day loan I can apply for after the semester begins.

Those of you who know me (which is pretty much all of you) know I wouldn't do this unless I was in a pretty bad way. I'm so broke I'm at the point where my sister is loaning me gas money and giving me food.

So yeah, there you go. I'm screening all of the comments so feel free to say whatever you want to me, no one else will see, you can't make me feel any worse.

OK, I want to help you
Thank you in advance. I don't have a bank account any more so a money order might be best (I think) or a locally drawn check. I'm screening all comments so just leave a comment with your email so I can get back to you and make arrangements.

OK, I want to help you but I can't right now
I appreciate your good thoughts, prayers, wishes and anything else you can toss out into the universe for me. 
cinema_babe: (Jimmy McNulty)
First there was House. For those not familiar with they show, the main character, Dr Gregory House, was short tempered, nasty and vindictive. He also had a serious Vicodin addiction as a result of a painful leg condition sustained in a motorcycle accident. But he was also a freakishly brilliant diagnostician and all of that thorniness was (supposed to) hide his vulnerable, tender belly and that made everything okay.

I never really bought it. The character is soooo astringent that anyone would like him just stretched my credibility until it broke. Despite that, somehow the show became very popular for most of it's run and it seems that other shows have tried to mine that formula.

ABC had a show called Body of Evidence which starred Dana Delaney as a coroner. The show was basically a mashup of House and Crossing Jordan. I really wanted to like it but if the main character is unpleasant, what's the use? At least she wasn't a drug addict. I guess.

Now NBC has a show called Crossing Lines. (I wish it was on AMC because they would have so much more latitude but oh well). The show is about an international, interdisciplinary team of law enforcement officers who work for under the auspices of the World Court. It's got a bunch of decent actors who I've never seen before and the star, William Fichtner is one of those character actors whose face every one knows. It's nice to see him playing a good guy for a change.

However, It feels as though they have him playing Gregory House. As a cop. Only with a cripples hand instead of a leg. ANd he's hooked on morphine, not vicodin.

I like the premise and it's interesting seeing a police procedural set in the EU, I just hope they make this less "house" and more CSI or I might not make it to the end of the summer with this show.

At least Jimmy McNulty was likable in his annoying ways.
cinema_babe: (Vote)
Watching the events unfold in Egypt this week reminded me of the importance of Independence Day for Americans. The fireworks we ooh and ahhh over are the cannon balls and bombs lobbed at us by the British during the Revolutionary War and the War of 1812.

That's why the Star Spangled Banner can make me teary. After the two wars with Great Britain, a Civil War that ripped the country apart, the violence and hate of Jim Crow and other institutionalized prejudice (look up NINA), demonstrations for the civil rights of women, minorities, and LGBT people, riots, and terror attacks

Our flag is still there.

There is no good reason why it should be or why we as a country should still be whole. We are probably the most ethnically, racially, and culturally diverse country in the world and despite what you read in the news the US has one of the most liberal and generous immigration and citizenship policies (really, how many countries allow the child of two undocumented parents citizenship simply because his mother happens to have her feet on its soil when s/he is born? You can live in Germany for *years* and still not qualify for citizenship). And now the right for legal residence and citizenship has been affirmed for same sex couples when one of them is not an American.

Geographically we are *huge* and lifestyles vary greatly from seashore to flat plains to mountains to urban, suburban, exurban to rural.

We don't have a state religion like some countries or common ideology such as you might find in some communist countries. Our national character is the frontiersman, the cowboy, the pioneer: loners, pushing through, maybe not the most talkative neighbors but when we have a reason to get together and celebrate, Holy Moly!

We're a dichotomous bunch.

On one hand the US has been a hotbed of innovation. Countless amenities of modern life were either invented or improved upon here. We are renegades who like to break down the walls of the box.

On the other hand, we are a people of rules and law. When the presidency was in question back in 2000, no matter who was declared the winner, half of the country was going to be unhappy. People engaged in peaceful protest but there was no violence, The Supreme Court did their job and on January 20, 2001 there was a peaceful and seamless transition of power.

There was no military coup, we have never had a military coup.

So I apologize if some are chafed by our ebullience and patriotic bluster. We're just so happy that despite the fact that there is no good reason for us to have survived as a country...

Our flag is still there.

...Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

(And yeah, like any American, I have my list of things that I think we need to do better as a country but I have a whole 'nother 360 odd days a year to bitch. This weekend is all about celebrating the Birthday Girl. Happy 237th America, you don't look a day over 235!

And because it's Summer, this is a song that always gets played at cookouts in my family ever since I can remember.

cinema_babe: (MadMen)

• Pete’s mom is twelve sorts of out there.
• So where did Bob find this guy and is he really doing Pete’s mother?
• Wow, Sally is officially a teenager in looks as well as temperament.
• So who will Peggy end up sleeping with tonight, Ted or Pete?
• Boy, the Drapers are just screwing up Arnold’s life right and left aren’t they. They won’t be happy until Sylvia kills herself (which is pretty much where it’s all headed anyway).
• At least Betty never complained Don’s working, just hi screwing. Ted’s wife is going to make Peggy look more and more like the next Mrs Ted Chaough.
• Ted and Jim are like the bizarre Don and Roger. Exactly the same only the opposite.
• Aaaaand someone will be losing their virginity in 10-9-8-7-6...
• Pete Campbell, a sour unlovable, little man. I guess it’s only okay when *he* screws the help.
• Don, clumsily trying to go fishing for info
• So Peggy ends up living in a shithole because of Abe and then he dumps her and leaves her in the shithole. I’d stab him again for doing that.
• “I bet you don’t have a lot of friends Don” Priceless, just priceless.
• Does Don think that getting Sylvia’s kid out of Vietnam will get him back in her bed?
• So is this going to fall through or will Mitchell get killed learning how to fly?
• Someone is not coming out of this season alive.
• Oh boy, here we go. And this is how Sally is going to see her father cheating on Megan with the neighbor lady.
• Yup, Bob is gay. Aaaand he’s in love with Pete?
• Every week Bob Benson freaks me out a little more.
• Ahhh to be a 14 year old girl again. Or maybe not.
• That Jonesy loves to give out keys without thinking twice.


• GOODBYE SALLY’S INNOCENCE
                   and
• Hello Sylvia’s suicide!

• Will Jonesy get to keep his job when all of this comes out?
• Awwww Peggy’s big orange cat
• I also guess this is where Sally’s coke addiction and rampant promiscuity begins, lol.
• And what is Sally’s friend up to and why is she sucking up to Megan like that?

• Since when did comforting your neighbor involve having your underwear around your ankles while her skirt is pushed all the way up? Just curious Don.
cinema_babe: (Question)
I'm watching a documentary about Magic Johnson's annoncement that he was HIV postitive.

It's an interesting piece that situates his vast importance in international pop culture at that time and the impact of his announcement.


It also reminds me of something someone told me a few years ago. A conspiracy theory that seems both very crazy and highly plausible.

I was working with a woman who was a PhD candidate in Public Health Administration. Her area of interest was how lower income, urban black communities deals with chronic illnesses like diabetes and HIV infection. Apparently among (at least) black social workers and others in the health policy field believe that Magic "took a bullet for the team". That he never had HIV, that he was approached by people who asked him to say he had HIV as a way of blasting through public attitudes.

They felt that by putting a wildly popular celebrity who was well loved and considered a role model in the role of someone who has been infected with the HIV virus, it would trigger dialogue among people who chose to believe it wasn't anything they had to think about. He was asked to play the role for blacks that Ryan White and the Ray Brothers did for the rest of America.

It seems like an incredible story but it's just incredible enough, and the rumor has been tenacious enough, that it just might be true.

The timeline between his infection and his wife's pregnancy is complicated. If he had been HIV+ for while, how did he not pass it to her. If he got it after she got pregnant, does that mean they stopped having sex immediately after conceiving. And yes, all of this is none of anyone's business but you see where I'm going here.

My big thing against conspiracies is that if more than 2 or 3 people know, it's going to come out. This has been proven again and again. However, I think this could have been put over with far fewer people than we might think. And just the fact that pockets of people in the healthcare community talk about a possible conspiracy says that maybe it has leaked out here and there.

Do I think we'll ever really know? Nope but it's an intriguing theory.
cinema_babe: (Eat Your Soul)
Jim Cutler said to Bob, "I believe in you". That was the name of the his song from "How to Succeed in Business Without Even Trying", a Broadway hit in 1960(ish) and movies around 1968. Who was the star of that show and movie? Robert Morse. Who is Robert Morse? He now plays Bert Cooper on Mad Men.

Why does this matter?

The plot of the show is about a window washer, J. Pierrepont Finch, who reads a book named "How to Succeed in Business Without Even Trying". He applies to work at a big corporation and manages to stumbles, manipulates and wheedles his way up the ladder until he is the president of the firm.

Coincidence or Foreshadowing?

Early on I thought that Bob might not work there at all. He always seems to be just walking around and in other people's offices, His supervisor never noticed that he spends most of his days away from his desk. Thinking of it, have we even ever seen his desk?

No one even seems sure of what he does.

3 more episodes this season, we'll see how this spools out.
cinema_babe: (Dr Who's Tardis)
I had an epiphany about Doctor Who: there are definitely parallels between my favorite Doctor (#5, Peter Davidson) and #11 (MAtt Smith).

The were both, up until that point, the youngest man to play the role. In each case this was not without a certain level of controversy as people questioned whether an actor so young could embody a character played by men who a good decade older. Could they be appropriately authoritative, seem realistic as a sentient being who has lived for over 800 years?

They both also had to follow a long lived and wildly popular incarnation, Davidson followed Tom Baker who still holds the record for playing The Doctor the longer than any other actor (7 years IIRC). His super long striped scarf become so iconic that in abstract representations, that scarf is all you need to know it's him.

Smith had to follow perhaps the most popular Doctor ever, #10. For many people David Tennant *is* The Doctor. His final episode was the highest rated episode of Doctor Who of all time.

And yet, I think they both have acquitted themselves very well. More than well.

Just a random thought from my caffeine deprived brain.
cinema_babe: (Rutgers 2013)
See Part I Here

(When last we left our lucky, young (ish) heroine, she had survived sitting in the rain for an hour and a half during Rutgers Commencement and after waiting in the rain for another 45 minutes, finally arrived for her second commencement ceremony of the day. We pick up at her arrival).

Whew! I finally made it to me second ceremony. My hair was a mess, my back was killing me, but I was indoors, dry and warm, lol. This is the one where we actually got to walk across a stage and shake the hands of the dean and program adviser, have our pics taken and everything like a regular graduation. It was a lot more intimate and I could actually see where my family was sitting this time.

I did my damnedest to hold myself together because I knew that if I began crying it would turn into one of those ugly cries that goes on and on and on....

There were only two moments when I thought I might break. The first was when they played the Alma Mater, On the Banks. I didn't think I'm *that* sentimental; but it hit me that it's probably the last time I'll hear it sung like that for a long time. I thought about learning to sing it a capella when I was a freshman and I think it just overloaded my circuit boards (which were already overloaded from all of the flesh pressing of the day).
The second moment was when my adviser was one of the hand shakers on the stage. When I walked up to her we started to shake and we ended up in a big hug. She whispered in my ear, "see, you made it", and I thought I was going to start bawling like a baby but I managed to hold it together.

Afterward I finally saw my family. Everyone was happy for me. Well I think my mother was, it's hard to tell with her. She was very grabby, I think shewa pissy that I hugged my adviser on stage.

I had heard about the grief she gave my sister. First, my sister had to dissuade my mother from ordering crap for me off of QVC (apparently she got a new credit card behind our backs). Without discussing my financial problems, my sister told my mother to give me cash. My mother kept complaining that it wasn't proper to give an adult cash. My sister told her that I wanted cash, my mother kept complaining that it wasn't proper to give an adult cash. She told her that she would compromise and she gave me an amazon gift card. Not sure what I will do with it but I'm sure when I get to Indiana I'll need something.

My mother, lol. Um, yeah, she's a bit of a problem at times. I still have to pick her up from my sister's and take her back home tomorrow. Yay me.

So now it was all over, my student days at Rutgers now a part of my friable book of memory.  This act is over and the next one is beginning.

The Entr'acte? Selling stuff off like a madwoman so I don't have to move it to Indiana. Keep watching this space for info on what's on sale.
cinema_babe: (Rutgers 2013)
It was the happiest of days,
It was the wettest of days
It was a day to celebrate
It was a day to stand in line for 45 minutes waiting for a shuttle bus.
It was GRADUATION DAY!


2 commencement ceremonies, the first in rain (not drizzle, *rain*) and 60 degree temps make for one achy, exhausted Patti.

The first ceremony was for the whole university, Newark, New Brunswick, and Camden campuses. All of the schools and colleges, all 14,000+ graduates are invited and it's so big the football stadium is the only place large enough to hold it. I could have skipped it but I figured (a) it was my last time and (b)my last graduation was the last one before they had this massive one so I thought it's be nice to to do it.

Yikes. First let's get the ookey out of the way. The logistics were not well handled, until I got into the stadium no one could tell me what door to go in or if I was even in the right place. One of the bus drivers tried to put me off the bus as the wrong location (??!!) because I said I was a graduate student and he saw a sign that said graduate students. Of course it also said "School of Engineering" but that was immaterial to him.

It might have been because his grasp of English seemed rather poor. Normally this is a non issue to me as long as someone can do their job. If you drive a bus and people unfamiliar with the area are asking you if they are on the right bus and you indicate that you don't understand them by saying, "sorry, no comprendo" *and* all of your bus stop announcements are made in Spanglish.....

That's a problem for me. A big fucking problem. It was also a problem for a lot of the parents and other assorted loved ones who were even more confused about where to go. He almost let people get off at the wrong place in the rain (while they were all dressed up in their good clothes). FFS, Rutgers. I'm sure he's a nice man but this was a very bad move.

Anyway, I got there, got to the area where we all lined up and we began marching into the stadium. Yes, it was raining and none of the seats were covered so most of us lost our programs because we sat on them to keep our bums dry. Yes this is pretty funny to me today.

One of the best moments for me is when I, by sheer dint of happenstance, ended up being the last student to march in.

The School of Communication came in last and we march in based seniority; undergrads first and then grad students. None of the New Brunswick PhDs come because they are at a different ceremony getting their academic hoods, so the most senior group for our school are the Masters students. (Do you see what's happening here?) I stopped for a moment to turn around for one more look and ended up at the back of the line. As I came out into the seating area I looked behind me again and I see one of the volunteers who said to me, "looks like you're it, Missy". Damned if he wasn't right. Now that was funny.

No one was paying any attention to me at that point so I just waved my arms in the air like I just didn't care and kept waving my arms until I got to my seat. And then I sat in the increasingly chilly, wet weather.

After it was over, I had to catch the shuttle bus back to the Rutgers Athletic Center (where they play basketball) for my second ceremony. And it was still raining. And the line was long, very long. And then a bunch of people formed a second line and tried to jump onto busses from the rear door. Sheriff's deputies were called to oversee the bus boarding; good times everybody, good times. After about 45 minutes, two short busses pulled up to take anyone in a cap and gown to the athletic center for the other ceremonies, (ours and the Business School's).

Continued in Part II
cinema_babe: (MadMen)
Uh-oh this is the beginning of Don’s lung cancer.
You have to do everything Bobby because your mother is neglectful
Harry Hamlin is perfect in this role, who knew?
Oooo Dr Feelgood and his “vitamin” shots
Uppers, they’re a blast. Of course Don has that pesky high blood pressure wso who knows what this will do to him.
Oh boy, I wonder if crazy hippie chick has the clap. I’m sure Megan will love getting the clap from Don.
What the hell?? Ida?
This is going to end up in such a clusterfuck when Betty finds out.
So Don is having a psychotic break and Stan s fucking the hippie chick. I’d go home too.
I love Sally more and more every time I see her.
It would be nice if he apologized to Sally for making her go through this.

I rarely say this but I have no idea what the hell this episode was about.
cinema_babe: (MadMen)

Roger is great when he's being a son of a bitch

Who is that creepy Bob person, when are we going to get the rest of his story?

Holy hell that Don is a control freak off of the charts

So Don is the "old style man", he even still wears a hat, and Ted Chaough is the "new style man".

Aaaaand Creepy Bob is at her service

So Don's mistress bores him with her chatty-chat-chat about her petty domestic melodrama (because really, no man of that generation wants to hear that from the woman he's screwing. He doesn't even want to hear it from his wife). So he punishes her by making her get on her knees to put his shoes on and then he strands her, nude in a hotel room until *he* dresses her and *he* comes back to for her.

*Then* he puts Ted in his place by drinking him under the table and letting him walk into a room of employees and make a drunken idiot of himself.

It must be nice to be Don Draper, The King.

If he doesn't shower, he'll reek of sex. If he does shower he'll smell like fresh soap? How do you climb into bed next to your wife and not worry about her knowing?

Boy Pete, when it rains it pours.

LOL, Peggy so sees right through Don's bullshit and calls him right on it. I wonder how long it will be until Don figures out that she's attracted to Ted (because it will come out sooner or later)

Wow, has he ever been dumped so irrevocably before? She's a lot more traditional than most of the other women he's been with and is on the same level as him as terms of social status. Rachael was also smart and such but they made the point that men considered her masculine because of her business acumen *and* she was Jewish in a world that was less warm to Jews. (But then again, he asked her to run away with him and she turned him down cold).

Was caring for Joan all about Bob securing his job? He's like some kind of cipher, completely empty inside, if you stuck him he wouldn't bleed because there's nothing in there. The original Mr Cellophane. I guess it paid off for him though.

Megan and Don? Divorced by the end of the season? Will she leave him for one of her co-stars?
cinema_babe: (MadMen)
If you've seen the series up through the end of last season, there are no spoilers. If you haven't and plan to, stop now.

And no, I'm not putting it behind a cut.

Joan is an interesting character and she becomes more so as the series barrels towards the 70s.

He mother raised her to serve one purpose: to be in the home and on the arm of a successful man. It was something to strive for, marrying well was the ultimate brass ring.

She sees herself through the lens of her worth to men. Her pride in her job is derived from the compliments she gets from the men in charge, remember that she never particularly liked or respected the other secretaries. I think that's also at the heart of her being willing to sleep with that piggy guy from Jaguar for a partnership. Whereas for Peggy the only way to get a partnership would be to earn it through working, it's not surprising that instead of demanding it based on her professionalism in running and increasingly busy office, having sex in exchange for a partnership wasn't an impossibility, just distasteful.

For Betty, marrying a successful man was a birthright. For Peggy, it's about making your own success on your terms. For Joan it's always been tied to the status of a man: mistress, wife, secretary.

Betty will always have some Daddy figure to care for her dour person. Peggy will always define success and pursue success on her own terms (albeit within a male paradigm). She will not hesitate to jettison her BF if he becomes too much of an impediment.

But Joan? I can really only go in one of two directions:

1. After several rocky years (and probably after the death of her mother) she finds her own self worth as an individual and builds on her success from there.

2. She keeps up the professional success but she keeps looking for that man to hitch her star to. She ends up drinking too much, depressed, bitter and maybe even commits suicide.

I hope they do something like Six Feet Under did at the end of their of their series where they tell you what happens to all of the characters.
cinema_babe: (MadMen)
*Roger seems like a dilettante, hell he is a dilettante. But once a salesman, always a salesman

*Just when you get a bit of sympathy for Pete you think, "oh yeah, he's an asshole". Wish is a credit to the write and the actor that, like a nice piece of pastry, they give this character so many buttery layers of good (and bad) ness.

* Oh Joan, was it worth it?

* Ted Chaough is the Anti-Don!Will it be like electrical charges or Highlander?

*Didn't anyone ever teach Megan that it's rude to speak a foreign language around people who can't speak it? Oh that's right, obviously not.

*I love this icon. It really does look like me before I got my hair cut.
cinema_babe: (Biohazard)
So 3 guys are accused of allegedly helping Dzhokhar Tsarnaev by moving stuff that was likely used to make bombs including empty firecrackers and a laptop.

My first thought? Wow, let's see how much help I can get when I move this summer.

Yeah, I told you it would be inappropriate.

Seriously though, I'm sure there will be yabbos who will try to tie this to Islam. Bull hockey. The surviving suspect is an American citizen. It doesn't matter whether he was born here or not, he voluntarily agreed to become a US citizen and when taking the oath, he said, "....I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen..."

His brother was a long time US resident.

I don't know if we will ever know completely what happened, but in my book this is as much a case of domestic terrorism as Oklahoma City.

Assuming these young men did help him and assuming they are Muslim would I find that surprising? Nope. But then again, when Timothy McVeigh was on the run you know he had help. Eric Robert Rudolph may have been able to live off the grid but I've got $100 that says extremist Christians aided him in some manner. Extremists who commit acts of violence will always find like minded people who will provide comfort and aid.

It ain't just a Muslim thing.

And this othering is ridiculous. The media (and not just Fox News) has used the phrase "ethnic Checen". WTF is that? If you look at the major ethnic groups of Chechnya, they are all pretty much white people. maybe not as pale as northern EUropeans but white people nonetheless.

I think that the US is entering a new period in our history. Up through WWII, for the most part, the mainland United States were physically insulated from military attacks directly from Europe. After WWII there were small perioding incidents that could be classified as terrorism but the first major attack (by native born Americans) didn't occur until the early 90s. I said that then that a psychological barrier had been breached.

I think we are now living in a country like the UK during it's conflict with the IRA. There will be periodic terrorist activity at major events in major cities. Not often, but often enough that children born in the past decade won't remember a time when it was that way.
cinema_babe: (Busy as a Bee)
This is not safe for small children or anyone who might be squeamish...but the WTF value might be worth it anyway.

I just don't even know what this is or why I enjoy it so much. It is simultaneously sweet and highly disturbing. The narrator's accent is what makes this work I think. If he sounded like he was from Texas or Russia I think the sweet quotient would be much lower.

I wish I had a bon-bon layer like Teddy.


cinema_babe: (Bloody Tears)
I am justifiably proud of myself. I made homemade Febreze and not only is it dirt cheap but it's way better than the real stuff. Here's the recipe:

2 Tablespoons each of softener, baking soda
About 20 or so ounces of hot water

1. Mix the softener, baking soda and about a cup of water in a lidded jar
2. Shake the jar until the ingredients are mixed together
3. Pour it into a 20ish ounce bottle (I used my empty Febreze bottle)
4. Fill the bottle the rest the way up with the remaining hot water
5. Use as needed to freshen stuff up

My carpet and mattress smell *wonderful*. Your Welcome
cinema_babe: (movie reel)
Well this is a pleasant surprise.

Years ago I saw an old black and white WWII movie called A Matter of Life and Death. It begins with David Niven in a burning plane. He gets on the radio and tells the woman on the other end that the rest of his crew has died and that he is about to bail out of the place. He has one small problem

He has no parachute.

He understands the what the outcome will be and tells the young woman he is talking to that he will become a ghost so that he can visit her.

The movie cuts to Heaven where is buddy is waiting for him but he never arrives. Instead, he wakes up on a beach having seemingly survived falling out of a plane with no parachute. He meets up with the girl he had been talking to. Of course they fell in love in those moments they were talking on the radio and they think they have found happily ever after. Another small problem

Heaven is one angel short. Oops. As you can imagine, mayhem and hijinx ensue.

I was enjoying the movie, it's a fluffy WWII fantasy, but I fell asleep and missed the last half. I could never find it *anywhere*. Not on Netflix, not on YouTube. I couldn't even find it on IMDB or TCM's databases.

Mystery solved!

Apparently the original name of the movie was A Matter of Life and Death and that's the title it went by in England. When it came to the US, the studio demanded the title be changed to the more whimsical Stairway to Heaven. They felt the original title was too bleak for American audiences.

The other delightful thing is that the movie I began to see was in black and white. Again this was done for American audiences. The movie was originally filmed with all of the scenes in heaven in black and white and the scenes on earth shot in a rich technicolor, a relatively new process at the time.

One of my personal mystery has been solved, I feel much better now.
cinema_babe: (I'm Moving)
Mad Men Drinking
Roger and Don heard that there was a free booze giveaway and they showed up but this is for local peeps only. Sorry fellows.

So as I mentioned a few days ago, I am beginning to get rid of stuff in preparation for my move. Below is a list of the free booze I'm giving away. It will only end up going down the drain and that that would be a damned shame so I'm hoping all of these bottle will go to a good home.

If I'm giving shit away I'd just as soon give it to someone I know.

Leave a message here. All messages will be screened so don't be shy asking for as much or as little as you'd like.

I have a couple of things I'm planning to freecycle and I've listed them below as well. I'd rather give it to one of you as opposed to some stranger.



Bermuda Mini Gift Pack A set of 4 50ml (a little over 1.5 ounces) bottles of different flavor rums:

  • Banana

  • Coconut

  • Rum Swizzle (a riff on the national drink of Bermuda, a rum and citrus concoction)

  • Bermuda Gold Liqueur (Rum flavored with the Bermuda loquat, a fruit that has a high sugar, acid and pectin content....The fruits are also commonly used to make jam, jelly, and chutney, and are often served poached in light syrup, as per Wikipedia.

Bermuda Mini Gift Pack
Finlandia vodka A generous 1/2 of a bottle Finlandia Vodka
Kahlua About 1/3 of a bottle Kahlua
Moet and Chandon Champagne The bottle is about 7 years old and the label is worn from condensation from being in the    refrigerator for all that time (albeit in 3 different houses). It's not vintage and I have no idea if it's  still good or not (I dunno, does champagne go bad?). I guess you could always use it like vinegar if you had to. Moet and Chandon Champ
Goslings Black Seal Bermuda Black Rum This is what you would use to make a Dark and Stormy (1 part dark rum to 1 part ginger beer). The bottle has never been opened. Goslings Rum


Also available:
A white corner shelving unit for the bathroom (although I guess you could use it elsewhere if you wanted). The unit is about 3.5 feet high, has three shelves and a door covers the bottom shelf. This is great for a small bathroom.

tryptich


I'll also be giving away an armchair that looks almost exactly like the one below except it doesn't have that flappy apron thing on the bottom, it's just straight.

It's not new, I bought it back when I got married in Dec 1998 so it's darn near 15 years old, it's still pretty comfortable though (at least I think so). It's beige check with a light blue stripe. I'm including two slipcovers, one sage green and the other one a beigy/peachy print (*that* one was a present).

I'm going to see if I can clean the chair's upholstery before I take pictures but if know you want it before seeing the pictures, let me know and I'll put it aside for you.

chait giveaway


Th-th-th-that's all folks
cinema_babe: (Eyecandy)
Over on Facebook someone posted a link to a very thoughtful critique of Dove's Real Beauty campaign.

I get the writer's point, but I'm not with her 100%. Not that I disagree with her critique so much as I see the good far outweighing the bad. This is not to say that criticism is not necessary and welcome but that it sets up a conundrum of how do we encourage the best of what we have without neutralizing the good?

The writer had several specific things she was critical of and I want to take them one by one.

Dove’s parent company Unilever also owns brands such as SlimFast, Axe and Fair and Lovely (the last is a skin lightening cream sold overseas)
A corporate portfolio often has little to do with ad campaigns by the companies within that portfolio. As incongruous as it is, you can find wildly different companies under the same umbrella. I don't think that shows hypocrisy, it's just a quirk of business.

The people behind the Dove ads who work on ads the employ the same illusions the Real Beauty ads criticize
Well it's the ad business and if we've learned nothing from Mad Men is the the ad business is amoral. Just because they might do an ad for Victoria Secret it doesn't mean that they can't do an outstanding job for the Real Woman campaign. I think this type of argument is not an argument at all because that's what ad companies do: create ad campaigns for whomever pays for them.

The Dove Real Beauty print ads are Photoshopped
I wish that weren't true but I'm not surprised and it still doesn't change the message of the ad campaign. I don't know the extent of the photoshopping, but we can be sure that it's nothing like what is normally done to women's pictures in the media. While the writer talks about discussing this with someone involved in the campaign, she doesn't tell us if it's simple changes to account for things like excessive shine or looking washed out for bright lights or if they are making whole cloth changes in how a woman looks.

Whatever they do the women in these ads and commercials they still look like the women I see on the street. Their faces might be a bit more symmetric but hey, it's an ad, they're going to look for a certain amount of conventional facial beauty. Every society has a standard of beauty, they always have an always will. It's when they become unrealistic and should sucking that it becomes an issue and that is where we are today.

Why I think these ads are so important, and why I think they are strong despite anything amiss is that they push some very serious conversations into the mainstream. Getting anything this important into the mainstream dialogue is always more important than ideas tossed around in academia and feminist think-tanks.

There are things that those of us who might consider ourselves enlightened or progressive might know or think about but how deceptive and sexist advertising shapes the way we see what's in the mirror. However, these Dove ads aren't for us. They are for the other 99.8% of the women out there looking in the mirror and see themselves as old, ugly and/or fat. Spend some time in a dressing room before swimsuit season and it can break your heart how hyper critical women are about their own bodies. How much they hate the skin they live in.

The sight of a bunch of women of all different shapes and sizes standing proudly in their underwear with smiles on their faces is not an image that many women have ever seen. And certainly never in a mainstream ad for a popular beauty oriented product.

I think the writer may have missed an important point about the new Real Beauty Sketches Ad. We can quibble about the ad labeling things like lines or double chins as a negative. But to reduce that ad to "this is reinforcing stereotypes of beauty" is an oversimplification and I would posit, elitist. The message behind this ad is almost the opposite: We are overly critical about our looks.

If you look carefully, the pictures dictated to the artist by others looked more like the women than the pictures they dictated to him themselves. If we cannot see ourselves as we really are, how can we begin to dismantle the infrastructure of false expectations that entrap us. See your self the way you are and *then* I can teach you to love who you are. See yourself as something less than what you imagine "attractive" looks like and it becomes an impossible task.

Sometimes when I read articles like this I can see the point, but I also feel that sometimes he bulge of the curve get left behind while those of us who may be ahead of the curve pat ourselves on the back.

For all its worth, I support you Dove, keep up the good work.
cinema_babe: (Busy as a Bee)
When I was kid my mother used to tell us, "Your name is not just your name; it's not yours to do whatever you want. It was clean when you got it from your father and you are responsible for keeping it clean for your husband and children. And when you get married, you're responsible for your husband's name too".

As much as that annoyed me as a child, I realize she had a good point.

When people go rogue, for whatever reason, their friends and families end up as victims as well. Their names and faces are shown by the media and you know their neighbors look at them and wonder about them too. Who wants to be known as the parent or sibling of a terrorist? Who wants people pointing are you and saying, "hey, wan't that the guy who was at your wedding?"

Even if some of their family supports them, you know there are those who don't. I just saw this man's aunt on TV holding up a picture saying how she wants to know what proof they have. Their father is apparently saying the young men were framed. So now they run the risk of either being terribly humiliated by the mens' actions or looking crazy for defending a couple of terrorists. The one who was killed apparently has a child so now there's an innocent kid who will have to live with what Daddy did.

Mom was right, your name really isn't just your name is it?

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name too.

Whenever we go out,
The people always shout,
There goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
cinema_babe: (nice things)
A Bit of Hamm
John Hamm goes commando (at least sometime). John (Don Draper) Hamm get's photographed as much as an big star of any wildly popular series is. What makes this notable is that people began to notice that the outline of his Dick Whitman and the boys if pretty visible. Someone found it interesting enough to set up a Tumblr account, JohnHammsWang.

Go ahead, take your time and browse, I'll be here when you come back.......Welcome back!

Some of the unconfirmed rumors are that he was asked by the Man Men producers to wear underwear on the set and that Fruit of the lLoom has offered him a lifetime supply of underwear.

Mr Hamm is not happy about this and has said that he wishes people would stop talking about his penis. I say, "LOL, Mr Hamm, welcome to the world of being a sexy actress". At least he doesn't have to worry about up skirt shots.
cinema_babe: (Breaking Bad)
Would someone out there in LJ Land explain to me how Esty works. I'm selling off most of my collectible glass, my wedding dress and a bunch of other stuff. I was going to just EBay it. I was complaining about how cheap people were on EBay and someone suggested I sell my stuff on Esty instead.

I thought Esty was for crafty stuff that you make yourself. Are there any other venues where I might be able to sell stuff.


Finally I have booze that I'm looking to give away. Most of the bottles have been opened but I'm not going finish it, I'm not taking it with me and I would hate to just dump it out. I figure giving it free to a good home is best. Keep watch this space for the list.
cinema_babe: (Back to School)
So a few months ago, I had a list of 6 schools I was applying to for my PhD. I got into most of them and then I had to make a choice about where to go. It got down to two school and I picked one at the end of last week. I had to let the schools know first but now I can let everyone else in:

In September I begin school at Purdue University in Indiana. The program is top notch, #8 in the country, and area seems nice enough. Even though it's not New Jersey it seems like a decent place to spend the next few years. There are a few people who came from Rutgers there already so I won't be too homesick.

Today I am feeling slightly overwhelmed (okay, more than slightly overwhelmed) as I realize I have no idea what to do to relocate 800+ miles away, I guess I need to start by selling or giving away most all my shit. The only pieces of furniture I want to bring with me are my bed and my dresser, both of which I am deeply sentimentally attached to. Of course my books, clothes and dishes. I need to get rid of the stuff left in my storage (which is not much) and I want to sell my wedding dress (which is a glorious dress for any large bride. If you know someone, let me know).

I needs a crap load of money I don't have so this should be interesting. The picture below is the silent scream I'm making at this moment.

Sick Face
cinema_babe: (movie reel)
(Or What Do You Do with a Problem Like Golden Oscar?)

What is This Ritual Called the Academy Awards?
The Oscar’s are by definition, the day when the old(ish) guard of Hollywood relives their golden past and New(er) Hollywood plays dress up and pretends it’s 1934 all over again. If The Golden Globes are like a slightly boozy wedding reception, The Oscars are like Christmas at Grandma’s house. It’s a time to look through the family album, talk about those who has passed and what things were like in the good old days. You dress a little nicer and behave a little better. I’m not saying it has to be stodgy and boring but it *is* a more formal affair.

As with any regularly schedule happening, there are certain hoary, old tropes: The Best Picture is always more artistic than blockbuster, the Best Actor and Actress are rewarded for being arty as opposed to popular (look at Daniel Day-Lewis’ string of wins and Charlize Theron and Jane Wyman both tamping down their looks for their Oscar winning roles ). Best Supporting Actor is often used to pay tribute to an actor who should have won an Oscar who has had a long career (Alan Arkin and Christopher Plummer) and Best Supporting Actress is usually reserved for women who are the “Hot Tomato” of the moment but will probably never go much farther in their career (I mean really, how the hell does Mira Sorvino get an Oscar when her father doesn’t have one??!!)

The Oscar Parallax (or How Do You Solve a Problem Like Golden Oscar?)
The Oscars appeals to an older demographic and this drives the ABC crazy. The older the demographic, the less they tend to spend and they less they can charge advertisers. To address this, the past couple of years they have tried to make things young and hip by getting young edgy hosts. This is a bad move because few young people are going to watch the show and older people will be very turned off. So what’s a network to do?

Make better use of the Internet.

I went to the Academy Award's site and it was not easy to navigate, only had videos and no live feed and the commentators were *very* young and inexperienced. It was an anemic effort at best and I turned over to the TV pretty quickly. So here’s how they could have done a much better job last night.

1. First simulcast the show, the Superbowl does it, why not the Oscars? Here’s a big advantage to them doing it: they can run different ads online that are more suited to that audience. One event, twice the ad revenue; sounds like a win/win for everyone.

2. Another fun thing they could have done is to have people twitter in their guess for who will win the big 6 awards in the commercial break before a particular award is presented and choose one Tweeter who got it right to give them movie tickets for a year. This could be done for less than $9500 dollars which they could more than make up for with the on-line ad revenue.

3. Part of what weighed the host Seth MacFarlane down was that he was carefully trying to walk the line between the kind of edgy, Family Guy, clutch-your-pearls humor (that is natural for him) and being nice enough to not offend the people in the audience though. The closest he came was the rape joke when Ted the Bear and Mark Whalberg were on stage (intentional or not, you be the judge). MacFarlane would have been a perfect as a “shadow host” for an online audience, he could have been (almost) as offensive as he normally is.

4. For the TV broadcast, get someone like Billy Crystal or Jay Leno to be the host, cut the presenter jokes and chit chat, and have them come out, read the nominees and announce the winner. Use the extra time to to do a proper tribute to the theme of the evening. I like Stark Trek too but the Shatner thing was too long, too weak and mediocre.

Breaking out the Family Album
You're celebrating the movie musical and the best you can do is Chicago, Dreamgirls and Le Miz? What The Fuckitty Fuck People?? If you are doing a tribute to the movie musical, I would have begun with a 5 minute tribute similar to this:

(and yes people, I can name just about every one of these movies. I am that good).

How many people know that the Jazz Singer, considered to be the first talkie, was a musical (actually the only sound was the songs). How can you pay tribute to movie musicals and not include Busby Berkeley, 42nd Street (which was a movie long before it came to the stage), Fred and Ginger, Jeannette McDonald and Nelson Eddie, Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney, Hope and Crosby, Gene Kelly and Whomever? Shirley--Temple and Jones for god's sake! Julie Motherfucking Andrews!

What about all of the actors who were *not* singers but sang in movies early in their career like Jimmy Stewart, Joan Crawford, (back in the say, every studio required their acting talent were given lessons in singing, dancing, and diction) Jeff Conway and Renee Zellwenger(sp). What about the classics like Oklahoma, Showboat, The Sound of Music, Funny Girl; (FFS, they had Barbra Streisand right there) Singing in the Rain (considered by many film critics and historians to be the best movie musical ever made and I agree with them). I would have had video of snippets of interviews with people who appeared in notable musicals.

Finally, I would have cut all of Seth MacFarlane's songs except the duet with Kristen Chenoweth and moved that one to the top of the show. At the top of the evening it's a light, Sinatra cover about what's going to happen over the course of the evening. At the end of the night it felt a bit like a thumb in the eye.

Yes, I’m going to say it, I could have done a better job. A much better job. Maybe I missed my calling. (Nah, I didn’t)

Did They Do *Anything* Right This Year?
Well, who knew Charlize Theron could dance? *That* was an unexpected little bon mot. And um, um...Who knew that Russell Crowe can’t really sing (even if he could sing, he was all wrong for the role of Javert but that’s a different post for a different day). Jack Nicholson, who I tend to find hit or miss at these award shows, seemed to be on his best behavior. Smirking, leering, drunk or stoned jack stayed home this year. I assume this was because he knew he’d be sharing the stage with the First Lady. I wouldn’t have her pop up every year but I did think Mrs Obama brought a nice touch to the evening and that whole presentation was handled nicely.

Well, that's it. Seth MacFarlane is a one and done host, I can't wait to see who they dig up next year.
cinema_babe: (Eyecandy)
When you're on a treadmill, you need something that has a good enough beat to keep you going at a good clip. This might be music that you wouldn't normally play at home or in the car. Among the song I routinely have playing on my Android are "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas, " "Tik-Tok", by Ke$ha (thugh I am ashamed I know that's how she spells her name) and "Maniac" by Michale Sembello and, of course, "Gangam Style .

But how come no one ever told me about "Call Me Maybe"??!!

In addition to having a good beat and hook (which I need to get into that treadmill head space) there is some interesting meta stuff going on here.

Justin Beiber is arguable the most successful YouTube celebrity who was able to crossover into being a multi platform pop star*. He gave another performer, Carly Rae Jepson a break and "call Me Maybe" was her first hit. "Call Me Maybe" became one of those songs that blew up on YouTube with hundreds of parodies. Some of the tropes include, lots of teen girls jumping around the room, various members of the military from the US, the UK, New Zealand, Israel and a bunch of the countries, several celebrities' personal videos, meticulously cut up bits of Obama speeches and famous movies, college athletes in their vans and buses, etc.

You know the whole phenomenon of parody and tribute videos would make an interesting paper. Especially with a song like this which is a song that clearly has a female point of view but so many tribute videos made by male and mixed populations. It might be interesting, using female performances as the standard, to analyze how men, especially those in environments usually associated with hyper masculinity such as college sports and the military, manage the tweaking of traditional roles embodied in acting out a girlie song.

So, um, yeah, this is going to the gym with me. Don't judge.

Below is, I think, one of the most amusing parodies. The Miami Dolphin Cheerleaders did a video; it wasn't anything special, typical girls in bikinis dancing. Then a group of American soldiers (in Afghanistan I think) did their own version where they copied the cheerleader video scene by scene so closely you can't help but be a little impressed by these guys. Some of them are obviously goofing and others are taking this dead serious but the thing I think makes it fun is (a) the dead on shot by shot accuracy and (b)they are obviously having a well deserved good time.




It's a bit of a Cinderella story. His mother, used to put his videos up on YouTube when he was a kid (not that he's not one still, lol).
cinema_babe: (MonkeyServent)
I hope all of this school stuff is not boring for people. Do you think I should set up a "School" filter so people can opt in or out?

So many of you were with me all through (the mess that was) my divorce, the dark days after I lost Jim, my Eeyore like gloom and doom over every class I took to get my Masters and a host of other tsuris in my life. I figured the least I can do is to share the good stuff too.

What say you all?
cinema_babe: (2012 Olympic Mascots)
1. I'm leaving for Chicago at 3:45pm on Wednesday. I am compiling my list of what to pack and bought a nice pair of booties. I got the agenda for the weekend from Northwestern and found I will be having *5* one on one meetings with faculty members. Please toss out a prayer or good wishes out into the universe for me if you so choose; this will be one of the more important interviews of my life.

2. Purdue invited me to submit an essay which is the application to their PhD fellowships. By no means a guarantee that I'll get in. This means roughly the same thing as the trip to Chicago, they are considering me closely.

3. I found out that one of the professors from University of CA @ Santa Barbara has been contacting a couple of my profs to get their opinion on whether I can handle the quantitative work in that program.

4. And oh yeah, I've been accepted into Rutgers PhD program. 1 program down, 5 more to hear from.

Shit just got *very* real. Yo.

(and this icon just because)
cinema_babe: (Snowflake)
I'm finding it wryly amusing that *now* the LAPD is going to reopen its investigation into the firing of Christopher Dorner who killed 3 people and is (as of 4:05, Sunday February 10, 2012) still on the run. The say that they aren't doing it to satisfy his complaints but to show how transparent and far their processes are.

Every day this becomes a bigger PR nightmare for the police because every day they look worse and worse. His contention that he was treated unfairly at the hands of a back slapping, hand shaking bureaucracy is something that strikes a chord with almost everyone. Even the some of the sanest people have fantasized about getting revenge.

Dorner is not a ranting lunatic although they seem to be trying to cast him that way. They've planted the word "manifesto" to the Facebook post he mad but I don't think he uses that word himself. They're trying to draw comparisons between him and the DC Snipers but there is a marked difference but whereas Muhammad and Malvo were picking random people off and holding a whole society hostage, Dornan has a very specific group of people he is targeting and the general public does not feel threatened (not to mention the group he targeted are not particularly well liked in the first place).


Making the police look even worse is the fact that the police have up *two* cars of black people just because the cars looks like the one he was driving. That makes them look very competent. I still think that there is no way they are going to take Dornan alive, even if he attempts to surrender they will find an excuse to kill him and that might make the LAPD look the most brutal and dishonest and brutal.
cinema_babe: (Question)
Can I tell you about my Lord and Savior Jesus? (OK, you all know I'm kidding right?)

My real question is that watching the inaugural there are generally two prayers and repeated mentions of "God". They are clearly referring to the Jewish/Christian/Islamic model of monotheism. If you are not monotheistic or atheist, what are your thoughts on it? Is it something that you tolerate, dos it make you angry, feel excluded, etc?
cinema_babe: (Blinky)
I got an email from one of the schools I applied to. It's the #3 school in the country for my field. They take about 10% of the applicants into their PhD program. These are the best Masters students. I know a bunch of people who were turned down by this program.

I expected the email to say, "thanks but no thanks".

Nope.

They have invited me to come to their campus in Chicago next month to meet with the staff, PhD students and other applicants. They want to size me up and give me a chance to size them up.

Every time I think about it my fingers get kind of tingly. I didn't say anything to anyone because I am afraid that I'm going to get a follow up email telling me they made a mistake. Just writing this out is making my stomach flutter a little.

This means that I got past the general university requirements (not a problem); I got past the departmental review *and* there are at least 2 professors who would be willing to work with me. Only 15%-20% make it to this point.

This is, "you have a good chance of getting in". Not a guarantee by a long shot, I'll still be fucking amazed if I get into this school. But I'm still thrilled, even if they don't accept me, this is firmly in the "it's an honor to be nominated" category. This is not luck, it's not the people I know. They invited me because of all the hard work I did, all the nights I stayed up till dawn, all of the papers I sweated over all of the articles and books I read. And my Master's thesis.

This is the payoff, as much as, if not more than, getting my diploma.

Yes, I had plenty of help from the professors who mentored me to you kind people who listened to me whine and moan. But, in the end, no matter what happens, I officially kick a teeny bit of ass.
cinema_babe: (Snowflake)
What email?

The one telling me I needed to complete the application for my diploma.

Yes, I am now Patricia Moore, MA

In 132 days, Sunday, May 19, I will don a black polyester gown, throw a colored collar around my next, put a funny hat on my head and get my commencement on.

One of the of cool things is that I will actually have *2* graduations. The first, at 11:30, is the university wide commencement. This is held at the (huge) football stadium, is for *everybody* and takes over 2 hours. All of the, I mean *us*, grad students get to march across the stage and get our names scrolled across the jumbotron but I think the undergrads get their degrees en masse.

At 4:30 is the convocation for my school (The School of Communication and Information). That will be just all of us students and our professors and will be in the basketball arena. Since it can take a couple of years for a given cohort to graduate, usually a bunch of alumni come to party, um I mean *celebrate* our graduation with us.

May 19 seems so far away, by that time I'll know what I'm doing in the Fall, will have been to a couple of conferences and may even be published by then. But I know how fast time can go when you're not looking.

I can't count the number I've written about school but (for now) those posts are done. Go me.
cinema_babe: (2012)
I've become my grandmother!!!

When I was a kid Saturday at 12 noon was American Bandstand and 12:30 was Soul Train; a solid hour of the pop music that was the soundtrack of my earliest days. By the time I was old enough to make it to midnight on New Years Eve, Dick Clark had an annual show, "New Years Rockin' Eve". He generally had the same popular acts that he had on American Bandstand so I (and later my sister) liked to wach it. Generally this was not problem until about 11:55.

My grandparents had a New Years Eve tradition that stretched back to the days before the family owned a TV at midnight they would listen to Guy Lombardo and his Orchestra strike up Auld Lang Syne and they would dance in the living room*. Every year between 11:50 and 11:55, as the old man was one foot out of the door, they had to have Guy Lombardo playing no exceptions. In the mid or late 70s Lombardo died (actually, my Poppy died in 1978 so Guy Lombardo must have died before then). New Years Eve that year they tuned in as they always did but it must have not been the same because the next year they relinquished the big TV to us kids and we got to watch Dick Clark.

Since then, I've usually been able to catch him because it seemed like it was the show that everyone who had a TV on was watching. In clubs, private parties, small gatherings, at home. The two times I was in Time Square took up a spot where I could him, (I never got that close but I could still see the action even if they seemed as big as Lego people).

Dick ceased to be "cool" long ago but I kept watching. One year My ex and I tried Carson Daily and bailed before midnight because it just didn't feel right. He had a serious stroke and I suffered through Ryan Seacrest (seriously, that guy must have sold his soul to the Devil to be so mediocre and have so much success) just to get a glimpse of Dick at Midnight. Um, well, you know what I mean.

Anyway, now he's gone and what have I did I do tonight? Flipped over the ABC (Channel 7 in this part of the country) because it's New Year's Eve and that's Dick Clark's night. When I was a kid I didn't get wanting to listen to some fossil of a musician at midnight.

Now I get it in spades.rockin

(On an unrelated tangent, I discovered after my grandfather died that my grandparents used to go to dances when they were dating because it was a cheap way to have fun during the depression. I didn't know how good they were until after my grandmother died and I found out they had ribbons from win, place or showing in dance competitions. It was the Depression so there was no money but they apparently had some impressive bragging rights. Of course by the time I knew them those days were long behind them.)
cinema_babe: (Blinky)
Some dude bid for a writing job on Elance. Under resume he says that he writes a lot and provides a link to his scribblings on Reddit.

O.K.

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