Dec. 4th, 2013

cinema_babe: (Therapy)
I just realized that today would have been my 15th anniversary.

No one thinks while taking their vows, "well, this will go down in flames in less than a decade" and yet it happens. Often. To a lot of people. Despite their love, best intentions, gumption, beliefs, or any other factor.

I'm not sad or happy or really much of anything. My wedding day is just another data point in my life.

The day was beautiful; I can truly say one of the 5 happiest days in my life. Looking back, I don't know that my ex had as good a time as I did. I knew you couldn't slow down time so I just tried to remember as much as I could so I could fill in the details between the pictures in our album for our children.

But 15 years later, my good china (service for 16??!!) sits in a box in my pantry; I'll get around to selling it one day. There's no house in the suburbs, no children playing in the backyard, no corporate office, no annual cruises, no family holidays. I'll probably never have any of that again and I am strangely very ok, even relieved, about that. I guess I tend to prefer a blank page to a full script.

Anyway, time to stop procrastinating and get back to my paper.

March 2017

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