Mar. 8th, 2017

cinema_babe: (Bandaged Heart)
And soon it will be my birthday, and then his birthday, and then Fall and Christmas and he will be dead a year and then a decade and then one day I'll be gone and our most intimate shared memories will go with me....

And today it's a day short of a decade. Sometimes it feels like it's been 20 years, other times it feels like it's only been 1.

I'm 1000 miles from home and I still have a pair of his woolen sock, when it gets very cold I wear them. When they fall apart, I really won't have anything left but memories, but it's no longer the unthinkable eventuality it would have been 10 years ago. It's like a divot the grass has grown over and hidden; the scar from that hurt will always be there but only I know it.

And so it should be.

March 2017

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