cinema_babe: (Autumn Road)
[personal profile] cinema_babe
There are still times, more often than not, when I feel like I'm leading with my left foot when everyone else is leading with their right. I just don't feel as smart as the rest of the herd.

I can't drop names and spout theory like some of the people in my cohort.

I'm a pretty shitty teacher and I don't have the passion for it that a lot of the others do.

I'm getting through stats by the skin of my teeth. For half the class this is a refresher, for me this is like learning Russian. Medieval Russian.

I'm only making Bs in my writing assignments.


I'm trapped on a group project from hell with this harpy on a topic I don't give a rat's ass about. I told her pick whatever, I will research and write on it because that is what I do.

We met with our professor and this woman still didn't have a clear idea what to do and kept asking the prof what we should do for our project. The professor through out the idea of doing a social network map and analysis of a group of organizations and everyone's face went blank

Except for mine.

I immediately caught on to what she was suggesting. She and I began tossing out literature to look at, what method to use to get good data, software we could use to construct the map, etc. I could feel my brain kick into overdrive. I could feel my face light up.

The other people in the group were looking at me like I had 3 heads.

I forget sometimes that I am a plodding tortoise, not a speedy jackrabbit. I am slow but persistent and I know what I know. And when you put me in my zone I can move at the speed of light.

I'll never be a tiger lily, an iris or even a daffodil. I am a geode. And if I just keep being a geode, and stop comparing myself to the roses and peonies and anemones, I'll be good.

It'll all be good.

No you can't always tell one from another
And it's best not to judge a book by it's tattered cover
I have found when I tried or looked deeper inside
What appears unadorned might be wondrously formed
You can't always tell but sometimes you just know

'Round here we throw geodes in our gardens
They're as common as the rain or corn silk in July
Unpretentious browns and grays the stain of Indiana clay
They're what's left of shallow seas, glacial rock and mystery
And inside their shines a secret bright as promise
Carrie Newcomer

Date: 2013-09-26 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm glad you are remembering how wonderful you are.

Date: 2013-09-26 11:45 am (UTC)
ext_59934: (Default)
From: [identity profile]
geodes are important, they're the backbone of a good team. the world would not work without geodes!

Date: 2013-09-26 02:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Awesome! Go you :)

btw, stats is somethihg I do a lot of, so ping me if I can help at all!



Date: 2013-09-28 04:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

we are all good at certain things more than other things. run with it, the other things, do them as you have to but always rock what you got.

Date: 2014-02-03 08:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Are you SERIOUS??????

Holy shit!

I'm from Indiana. Carrie Newcomer was one of my teenage idols. My Dad worked for a university radio station. I got to see her play live acoustic stuff for the radio. She is a lovely and inspiring lady.

I can't believe you posted her stuff!

Date: 2014-02-03 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This is the only song of hers I know, LastFm introduced it to me. When I was in the doldrums and feeling out of place last semester I stumbled upon this song again and it helped me to remember that sometimes our awesome is hidden inside and you've got to break yourself open to show it to others.

What's funny is that it wasn't until I went hunting for the lyrics that it made reference to Indiana which is where I live now.
Edited Date: 2014-02-03 10:42 pm (UTC)


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