cinema_babe: (Angry Black Woman)
[personal profile] cinema_babe
...I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

Sometimes two words get paired together when only one word will do.

Exhibit 1: Brain Death
The phrase brain death is redundant, it's just death. Someone who is brain dead will never wake up, never recover, they must remain on life support, if they are taken off it their vital organs *will* stop working, the body *will* shut down. It is not a coma, it is not a vegetative state.

In both of those situations, the cerebral cortex is damaged but the brain stem is functioning. If a person is brain dead, the brain stem is profoundly damaged or otherwise no longer functioning. There will never be any reversal. If they are removed from life support the process of death will complete.

The media does a piss poor job of depicting brain death with any accuracy. Those people who wake up after 19 years? They are in a comas rt possibly a vegetative state, not brain dead. It messes with the expectations of grieving families and is harmful to efforts to increase organ donation.

Exhibit 2: Acquaintance or Date Rape
Let's be clear, there is rape. Period.

If someone take their penis or any object and inserts it anywhere on anyone, without their informed consent, regardless of either person's gender, they are a rapist. If someone forces someone else to perform oral sex on them, forces it on them or does it to them when they are not able to give informed consent, they are a rapist

It doesn't matter if the two of are strangers, friends, lovers, or spouses; it is rape. If he or she is a passed out, a prostitute, or the two had sex 2 hours ago, it is rape. Even if the person raped does not report it or the law declines to prosecute, it is still rape.

The only thing different about date or acquaintance rape is that the rapist is someone who should have been protecting their victim, someone he or she should have been able to trust. That means the date or acquaintance rapist isn't just a rapist, they are also a treacherous piece of shit.

And did I mention they are still a rapist.

Got it? Good.

Exhibit 3: Sexual Harassment
The boss who continues to walk up behind a woman on his staff and put his hands on her shoulders. The co-worker who thinks it's funny to tell Nazi jokes to someone Jewish even though they have been told it's not funny. The manager who puts constant, unreasonable pressure and mocks an older worker because, "it's about time s/he retired". (For the record, these are all situations I was made aware of when I worked in HR).

It's all harassment. It doesn't matter if you use sexual/sensual behavior, threats, fear, offensive humor or mockery. If someone is deliberately creating an environment that makes it physically or emotionally difficult for someone to do their job, it's all harassment. If called on it the only valid response is, "I'm sorry, I will not to do that again" and then to stop the offensive behavior. "I was just kidding"; "you're being too sensitive"; or "Joe/Jane doesn't mind when I say/do that" is just an extension of the harassing behavior.

So to recap, there is death, rape and harassment, no prefixes necessary. Any question?

Date: 2014-06-05 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] radiumhead.livejournal.com
i disagree with number 3.

suppose i work with someone-i walk up to em and say "hey, youre a piece of shit." and i smack em on the back of the head.

thats harassment. is it sexual harassment? No.

Date: 2014-06-05 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] franklanguage.livejournal.com
Not all of [livejournal.com profile] cinema_babe's examples are sexual; to quote, she says, "It's all harassment."

Date: 2014-06-05 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cinema-babe.livejournal.com
That's my point, harassment is harassment. Slapping the word "sexual" in front of it doesn't do anything but make it easier to not take the allegations seriously.

Date: 2014-06-05 11:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quirkytizzy.livejournal.com
I wish that weren't the case, because our society is designed to only take "sexual" and "abuse" or "harassment" seriously when it comes to kids.

And sometimes not even then.

I never thought about the difference between brain death and "death", which now that I think about it, you're right - they're both pretty much death.

And so 100% with you on date rape term bullshit. SO with you.

Date: 2014-06-05 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cinema-babe.livejournal.com
Actually adults make out better than kids. You should check out Protect.org (one of the few charities I support even if I can only send them $1) You would stunned and sickened by how little protection children get in the legal system at times.

Date: 2014-06-05 02:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quirkytizzy.livejournal.com
OMG, I bet you're right. I'll have to check that site out, though I have a feeling it'll be a sickening dive into depression.

Date: 2014-06-05 07:23 am (UTC)
ashbet: (IntenseEyes)
From: [personal profile] ashbet
Agreed, especially in the case of brain death -- the media conflation of brain-stem nonfunction with coma/vegetative state means that millions of families have waited, hoped, and impoverished themselves in vain, and that many lives have not been saved because people are reluctant to donate organs if they think their relative might recover.

I think that "date/acquaintance rape" is a valuable term, in theory, in that it advertises "treacherous piece of shit" as part of the package . . . but I agree that, since it's often used to make "date rape" sound less bad than "stranger rape," simply calling them both "rape" would serve to close that gap.

(Maybe "rape by a person of trust" would be a decent phrasing? It puts the focus on the crime, and points out the betrayal of trust as a secondary issue.)

And, yes -- harassment is harassment, and none of it should be happening in the workplace, period.

-- A <3

Date: 2014-06-05 02:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cinema-babe.livejournal.com
I don't think a modifier is necessary because I it just makes it easier to dismiss on than rape by a stranger.

It also creates a greater sense of guilt (I must have done something to send him/her the wrong message) and "if it's *just* date rape, I'm wont get/don't need legal and/or counseling services victims of *real* rape get". Someone in an online I belong to just made that statement. She's almost 60, never been married despite wanting to be, never had a what she calls a serious long-term relationship. But she got over being raped by her brother's best friend within a few weeks.

I certainly think it should be brought up in trial and a consideration in sentencing. I even would not be opposed to a mandatory penalty enhancement if the rapist knew his victim. But I would really like to see "date" and "acquaintance" be disconnected from the word rape.

Date: 2014-06-06 05:46 am (UTC)

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