I Blinked and a Decade Passed

[cinema_babe]

And soon it will be my birthday, and then his birthday, and then Fall and Christmas and he will be dead a year and then a decade and then one day I'll be gone and our most intimate shared memories will go with me....

And today it's a day short of a decade. Sometimes it feels like it's been 20 years, other times it feels like it's only been 1.

I'm 1000 miles from home and I still have a pair of his woolen sock, when it gets very cold I wear them. When they fall apart, I really won't have anything left but memories, but it's no longer the unthinkable eventuality it would have been 10 years ago. It's like a divot the grass has grown over and hidden; the scar from that hurt will always be there but only I know it.

And so it should be.

Comments

[ashbet]

*gentle hugs* <3

[emmabovary.livejournal.com]

Beautiful grieving you have incorporated into your heart.

[cz_unit]

Wow. I still have a few small things to remind me of Brian, it's been over ten years now myself, the pain has lessened a lot, but there is always that little small house on the hill in my mind. Quiet, but still there. Hopefully I'll meet him again there someday and get to say hello....

CZ

[cinema_babe]

the pain has lessened a lot, but there is always that little small house on the hill in my mind.

I really like that image. That is what memories special people are like: little houses that are an integral part of us yet somehow a bit separated from other parts of our life.

Thank you for gifting me that lovely thought.