See, I listened after all
Dec. 1st, 2005 03:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cinema_babeMy mother gave me a lot of advice (always wear panties, women over 30 should always wear makeup, putting a man's penis in your mouth is nasty, etc, etc.) Much of it was odd, funny or just not applicable to who I am. However she did give me some great pieces of advice that, if I had a son or daughter, I'd pass along to them. Since I don't and likely won't I'm going to throw it up here so maybe someday someone will benefit from my mother's wisdom.
1. When the light turns green, wait for half a second before moving - Here in Jersey, trying to beat the amber light is our state pastime. On more than one occasion, I have paused before entering an intersection only to have a 2000 pound bullet, also known as an automobile, fly through the intersection (and a red light.) Whenever that happens I think, "Whew! Mother was right."
2. Always have enough money to get yourself home - Halloween 198(cough!) I'm in college and away from the home for the first time. The country mouse (Because back then, Monmouth County, NJ still had some wide swaths of country) in the big city for the first time. A group of my new friends invite me to go into the city with them for Halloween. Drinkie, drinkie, drink, carouse, flirt and drink some more; Skip to the end of the night.
We get to Port Authority to find we've missed the last bus. I was to only one who had enough money for a taxi to Penn Station and a train ticket. I was home by 2:15am and some of them never spoke to me again. (Hey, do you have any idea what Port Authority was like on Halloween in the early 80s??!! I wasn't hanging around there all night.)
3. If you're on a date, always bring enough money to cover your tab - 1990ish I was was on a second date with a guy who was very fascinated with his money and his looks. When he pulled up in front of my apartment to drop me off he decided to invite himself in. I declined his invitation. he then decided that it was good sport to grab my breast and tell me how big my boobs were. This was not news to me. He finally trotted out the old line that goes something like, "I spent almost $100.00 on you tonight and I think I'm entitled to......" I didn't even here the rest because as he blathered on I reached into my purse pulled out $80.00 cash placed in on his dashboard and asked him if that would settle my tab.
Stunned silence followed by some kind of sputtering bullshit about how I was insulting his manhood. I thanked him for treating me like a common prostitute and walked away. He had the good sense not to call me again.
4. Be Kind - I can be about as subtle as a warthog in a tutu at times. I drive myself relentlessly; I can easily slip into 'Type A Workaholic' mode. Most people are not like this, including people that I work with on group projects and the like. I am driven by my internal goals much more than I am by external praise. (I think this is part of my distrustful, paranoid nature. If someone is praising me, there must be an ulterior motive. I have gotten much better at turning off this tape.)
It is not an automatic process for me but I try to remember to praise people for the good they do.
And see, my mother thought I wasn't paying attention.
(As for the panty thing and the makeup thing and penis thing? I never said I followed her advice on everything.)
1. When the light turns green, wait for half a second before moving - Here in Jersey, trying to beat the amber light is our state pastime. On more than one occasion, I have paused before entering an intersection only to have a 2000 pound bullet, also known as an automobile, fly through the intersection (and a red light.) Whenever that happens I think, "Whew! Mother was right."
2. Always have enough money to get yourself home - Halloween 198(cough!) I'm in college and away from the home for the first time. The country mouse (Because back then, Monmouth County, NJ still had some wide swaths of country) in the big city for the first time. A group of my new friends invite me to go into the city with them for Halloween. Drinkie, drinkie, drink, carouse, flirt and drink some more; Skip to the end of the night.
We get to Port Authority to find we've missed the last bus. I was to only one who had enough money for a taxi to Penn Station and a train ticket. I was home by 2:15am and some of them never spoke to me again. (Hey, do you have any idea what Port Authority was like on Halloween in the early 80s??!! I wasn't hanging around there all night.)
3. If you're on a date, always bring enough money to cover your tab - 1990ish I was was on a second date with a guy who was very fascinated with his money and his looks. When he pulled up in front of my apartment to drop me off he decided to invite himself in. I declined his invitation. he then decided that it was good sport to grab my breast and tell me how big my boobs were. This was not news to me. He finally trotted out the old line that goes something like, "I spent almost $100.00 on you tonight and I think I'm entitled to......" I didn't even here the rest because as he blathered on I reached into my purse pulled out $80.00 cash placed in on his dashboard and asked him if that would settle my tab.
Stunned silence followed by some kind of sputtering bullshit about how I was insulting his manhood. I thanked him for treating me like a common prostitute and walked away. He had the good sense not to call me again.
4. Be Kind - I can be about as subtle as a warthog in a tutu at times. I drive myself relentlessly; I can easily slip into 'Type A Workaholic' mode. Most people are not like this, including people that I work with on group projects and the like. I am driven by my internal goals much more than I am by external praise. (I think this is part of my distrustful, paranoid nature. If someone is praising me, there must be an ulterior motive. I have gotten much better at turning off this tape.)
It is not an automatic process for me but I try to remember to praise people for the good they do.
And see, my mother thought I wasn't paying attention.
(As for the panty thing and the makeup thing and penis thing? I never said I followed her advice on everything.)
