Easy Wind and Downy Flake

My mind has forged a link between this Leonard Cohen poem and my feelings about kissing. I suspect it's because for me, this poem captures the inner monologue that swirls through the a lover's mind during a final kiss.

Or maybe not.


This is one of his poems; I don't know if he ever set it to music. Every time I read it a Celtic/modal tune plays in my head. Maybe I'll write it down one day or even record it.

Or maybe not.

This piece always makes me think of the sea in autumn; brine and woodsmoke in my nose. At the same time it reminds me of an Irish landscape, like something from Ryan's Daughter. This poem haunts me because in it I see the faces of some of the men I left and some of the men who left me.


TRAVEL by Leonard Cohen

Loving you, flesh to flesh, I often thought
Of traveling penniless to some mud throne
Where a master might instruct me how to plot
My life away from pain, to love alone
In the bruiseless embrace of stone and lake.

Lost in the fields of your hair I was never lost
Enough to lose a way I had to take;
Breathless beside your body I could not exhaust
The will that forbid me contract, vow,
Or promise, and often while you slept
I looked in awe beyond your beauty.

Now I know why many men have stopped and wept
Halfway between the loves they leave and seek,
And wondered if travel leads them anywhere -
Horizons keep the soft line of your cheek,
The windy sky's a locket for your hair.

I have always been one of those people who can get along with (almost) anyone, has a good number of acquaintances at work/school and the like but, only a very few people I consider friends.

I'm a very private person and tend to keep most people at arms length. It's really a big deal for me to let anyone into my "inner circle". Once you’re there, though, I've got your back for life. There is nothing I won't do for my friends: money, mayhem, murder; nothing. (Well, maybe not actual *murder* but you get the general idea.)

I never used to believe that you could truly make friends in an on-line environment because of the loss of the face to face element. (I'll post my thoughts on the Windows of Johari vis a vis relationships on-line and IRL some other time.) I've been lucky enough to meet some great people who have challenged my attitudes about the reality of a relationship between people who only interact in an electronic environment versus IRL. I still think that on-line friendships are a different animal then friendships IRL but I've come to see, no, *experience* that the love, support and, yes sometimes drama, can be there whether you ever share a cup of coffee with someone or not.

People I *don’t* like? I usually try to just to give them a wide berth so I don’t have to be nice to someone I dislike. If I don't like you and you insist upon inserting yourself in my life (try to create the illusion that I like you or cross my "politeness boundary" in any way) let's just say I hope you have a couple of big fluffy towels to wipe up your blood. I'll warn you the first time. The second time? I do my best imitation of a wood chipper on your ass.

I truly don't like letting that beast loose; it's like I become someone else. (There's a streak of mental illness a mile wide in the women on my mother's side and it scares me to imagine what I would be like if I hadn't been in therapy for so many years: smart as a whip *and* angrily out of control....). Fortunately, I don't get violent anymore when I get angry. I feel this tremendous *weight*, a responsiblity, because I really think that in some ways I can do a lot more damage with my words then I could ever do with a well aimed shoe. "The more you know, the more you owe."

Hmmmm, I'm not as scary as this post might make me seem. Really.