How Do I Love The OK Cupid, Let Me Count the Ways

[cinema_babe]

Dear Bob432,

For future reference, "I've never dated a black woman, would you to be my first?" is not an alluring come on. Never. Especially if this is the full text of your message. Just stop. Now.

For the record, I am not "a black woman"; I am Cinemababe (real name redacted). I am a 3 dimensional person with interests and a history and a future. Did you even bother to read my fucking profile? Or, did you just look at the screen and say, "Hmmm, who's black, female and within a 15 mile radius of here?"

But that's right, you don't care about what my favorite movie is or what kind of food I like. You just want a date with "a black woman". You insult me and should me ashamed of yourself.

Regards,
Cinemababe

Comments

[badseed1980.livejournal.com]

Ewwwwwwwww.

[radiumhead.livejournal.com]

Does okc have a setting for that? "black and within 15 miles of me"?

[cinema-babe.livejournal.com]

I don't think so, I think he just scanned the pictures.

[palmir.livejournal.com]

Hey, that worked for me!

Wait, no. I did read her profile, and was surprised to find someone who matched two very different interests of mine, so sent her a message along those lines and blah blah blah we got married. I think my approach is probably better.

[palmir.livejournal.com]

Just remembered this, too: a friend of mine who happens to have been in a sorority had a guy try to pick her up on the basis that he'd never dated a sorority girl before (or slept with, possibly; I don't remember if that was stated or just implied). I imagine the parallel stereotypes of sorority girls being easy and black women being sex fiends helped both clueless men to their attempted pickups. How it's so hard for some guys to realize that women are people, I don't know. (Expand statement to "... realize that [anyone belonging to a (perceived) different group] is a person" as applicable).

The online forum just removes the barrier of being called out on your words publicly. Anonymity does great things for showing you who someone is.

[cinema-babe.livejournal.com]

Yeah I get this happens to anyone who is an "other" but the "otherness" he hit me up for was race so that's the part of me that is indignant. Does it happen to others? Of course it does but for 10 minutes I just had to fight the battle for me.

I really hope that guy gets athlete's foot.

[ashbet]

That . . . what . . . I . . . words.

I'm lucky in that (I swear) I seem to have fantastic luck in meeting/getting to know partners via LJ (and, to be oldskool, Usenet.) First, establish shared interests. Then, geek enthusiastically. Then meet, date, mate, etc.

OKC, while sometimes awesome, is sometimes the home of the most clueless Internet Romeos (and presumably Internet Juliets, but it seems to be the guys I'm always hearing about), and their antics provide endless fodder for both amusement and horror.

But, yes. Failing to see you as a person is a straight-up "NO!" in the tone that is accompanied by the fierce whack of a rolled-up newspaper at some tender part of the offender's anatomy.

-- A <3

[bicrim.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, sweetie. People are assholes sometimes. You are sexy and smart and funny and a good conversation partner. Anyone who isn't interested in all of that is just an idiot, or in this case, a racist idiot. You rock, he sucks.