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Indulge Me
Nov. 19th, 2005 09:35 pmI was going to post the Christmas List meme that I read on one of those lists that I haunt.....
I really got bummed out. Since I've been an adult and put the hive mind that is Jehovah's Witnesses behind me, this is my favorite time of the year. I love the all the prep leading up to Christmas. Even when I was so sick last year I managed to find put together some pretty nice gift bags for everyone.
Needless to say this year will be different. My impulse is to hide in my room and not come out but I'm not going to do that. The people who don't know we're getting divorced will have to know sooner or later and we may as well start telling them before the Anniversary cards start coming in. (We would have been married 7 years on December 4th)
So anyway..... when I began to think about what I wanted for Christmas and the first thing that popped into my mind? A new home; someplace that is clean and safe and mine; someplace where no one will yell at me and my heart can be broken in private. Most of the rest of the things on my list are similarly mundane.
On one hand I feel so pathetic that the first wish I have is for a home and on the other hand I feel empowered because I know what I need and I know how to ask for it. I guess that's part of my the dichotomous nature. I only bring this up because the advice I've given to countless people to throw what they need out to the universe and now I have people giving it back to me. So I'm going to post what I really want for Christmas on my meme and rather then close my eyes and wait for it to fallout of the sky, now that I know what *it* is, I need to go out and get it.
I really got bummed out. Since I've been an adult and put the hive mind that is Jehovah's Witnesses behind me, this is my favorite time of the year. I love the all the prep leading up to Christmas. Even when I was so sick last year I managed to find put together some pretty nice gift bags for everyone.
Needless to say this year will be different. My impulse is to hide in my room and not come out but I'm not going to do that. The people who don't know we're getting divorced will have to know sooner or later and we may as well start telling them before the Anniversary cards start coming in. (We would have been married 7 years on December 4th)
So anyway..... when I began to think about what I wanted for Christmas and the first thing that popped into my mind? A new home; someplace that is clean and safe and mine; someplace where no one will yell at me and my heart can be broken in private. Most of the rest of the things on my list are similarly mundane.
On one hand I feel so pathetic that the first wish I have is for a home and on the other hand I feel empowered because I know what I need and I know how to ask for it. I guess that's part of my the dichotomous nature. I only bring this up because the advice I've given to countless people to throw what they need out to the universe and now I have people giving it back to me. So I'm going to post what I really want for Christmas on my meme and rather then close my eyes and wait for it to fallout of the sky, now that I know what *it* is, I need to go out and get it.
